Authors are often, by nature, solitary sorts. We have to be in order to carry out the work of writing – many hours alone in our own fantasy world. Recently, I blogged on ‘The lonely writer’, and I included the opinion of writer Isaac Asimov:

Writing is a lonely job. Even if a writer socializes regularly, when he gets down to the real business of his life, it is he and his type writer or word processor. No one else is or can be involved in the matter.

Certainly, I think, Asimov is right that writing can be lonely. But is it true to say that ‘No one else is or can be involved in the matter’? Or do, in fact, we writers need people to get involved with our work in the role of supporter?

This month Mslexia, the ‘magazine for women who write’, ran an article drawing together findings from a survey it conducted on the attitudes of writers’ partners. The survey was entitled ‘How do the qualities of your actual partner compare with those of your ideal?’, and the results were illuminating. Of the 2,304 respondents, the following most popular items on a ‘wish list’ for a partner emerged:

• Respects what I am trying to achieve creatively: 91%
• Facilitates my writing time: 79%
• Takes on a fair share of domestic work and admin: 68%
• Encourages me to seek out writing opportunities: 48%
• Gives me useful feedback on writing: 41%
• Takes on a fair share of care for dependants: 34%
• Reads widely and is able to discuss literary matters: 28%

Comparing results for actual and fantasy partners for all these items on the list (there were other, less popular ones, too), actual partners did not win out in any category. Taking respect as an example, only 64% of writers felt their partners respected their creative endeavours.

The article makes for thought-provoking reading. Clearly, some of the respondents are getting wonderful support from their partners (36%, at least, feel ‘unhindered’ by their partner), but 301 respondents were in relationships that do not nurture their creativity –‘301 too many in my book’ quite rightly notes the editor!

Should we writers be looking to our partners for support and encouragement? Ideally, I’d say yes. My own husband is wonderfully supportive of my writing – all my family are, in fact; and that has been instrumental in my blossoming as an author. But I am lucky, and if those close to you aren’t ‘gung-ho’ when it comes to your writing, that doesn’t have to be a reason to struggle.

As a minimum, you need those close to you to respect your writing, and help you find the room in your life to follow this pursuit that fulfils you. But as for items on the wish list like encouraging you to seek out writing opportunities, and give useful feedback on writing, and read widely and be able to discuss literary matters – these are means of support  that anyone in your life can carry out: a friend, a writing buddy, a mentor, a tutor.

Do we need support as writers? Yes. But that support can come from all kinds of sources. In fact, the more sources, the merrier!